Classic Sh*t: Love & Basketball

Ask a young Black female their favorite movie and 7 times out of 10, they will say Love and Basketball. Love and Basketball is a classic movie amongst African Americans! It is a beautiful story of Black Love and the trials and tribulations that arise when pursuing your goals. This movie may not have been recognized and renowned as great by the general public but in the Black community, it will forever be a favorite. So, I've decided to compose a list of why my favorite movie is so great


The People
Now I mean the cast AND the creators. First off, the cast is incredible, starring Sanaa Lathan and sexy ass Omar Epps as the stars, and supported by a host of other Black actors and actresses, including Alfre Woodard, Regina Hall, Tyra Banks, Dennis Haysbert, Debbie Morgan, Kyla Pratt, Gabrielle Union, and Boris Kodjoe. Also, the director and screenwriter Gina Prince-Bythewood did an EXCELLENT job across the board (not to mention another African American woman woop woop!) as well as producer Spike Lee. Shit was bound to be epic.


The Soundtrack
This soundtrack was so perfect! They played the perfect songs at the perfect times. At the beginning of the movie they play Chaka Khan Sweet Thing , which also represents the decade in which the movie begins. As it transitions into the 2nd quarter of the movie and into the 1980's, the scene begins with MC Lyte's Light As A Rock to showcase Monica's skills and Kool Moe Dee's I Go To Work to showcase Q's. Then they play Zapp and Roger "I Wanna Be Your Man" at their homecoming dance and Maxwell's A Woman's Work as she loses her virginity. Then even at the end when they are playing one-on-one, "Fool of Me by Me'Shell NdegeOcello sets the perfect tone. It was just masterful, the way the songs matched the scenes in this movie AND they were actually good songs!


Themes
Now this is the deep shit. This movie addressed so many themes and patterns, I found it genius how Prince-Bythewood was able to portray so many messages, directly and indirectly through her film.

So there's some feminist issues addressed in this movie. The role of a woman and how she should behave, even in a competitive atmosphere. Monica expressed early on in the movie how she was expected to not "talk smack" or get passionate on the court because she is supposed to "behave like a lady". We even see gender roles addressed as we look at the relationship between Monica and her mother. Monica and her mom are on opposite ends of the spectrum; Monica is pursuing this extravagant goal of becoming the first woman in the NBA (because the WNBA wasn't around when she grew up) while her mom is a prissy housewife who tends to the house, her husband, and children. This difference strains their relationship! Even just the contrast between the # in attendance at the Men's and Women's games' shows that women weren't expected to be in competitive sports. At the beginning, young Q says "Girls can't play no ball!" This idea of what is expected of a woman and the barriers that women actively pursuing professional jobs outside of the home face is still an issue today, even as gender roles become more ambiguous.

Building off the topic of gender roles, its also interesting to see the character of Q play out throughout the movie. Now, as a woman, I can't explore and identify with all the issues Q faces as a Black man (cuz whaadya know I'm not a Black man), but I do notice the issues of pride and identity. I mean, Q went from being a superstar to an injured nobody. There's this pride issue of not being that star anymore and taking the "backseat" to your wife as the WNBA star, which I know many men would feel uncomfortable doing. Also, Q searching for his identity after being disappointed by his father and idol and ultimately finding that support and love with Monica, which is beautifully analagous to the role of man and woman in love, in my opinion at least. I believe men NEED the support and love of a supportive and loving woman, so they can feel secure in establishing and owning their identity. For Omar Epps to take on this role and still come off as a strong, secure, confident man is about as sexy as it gets.

 

Then there's the theme of love in this movie. What woman wouldn't love a movie that shows a woman marrying her childhood love AND still accomplishing her ultimate goal?! Fucking beautiful. But I got a little deeper with this too. See Prince-Blythewood clearly wanted to portray some messages in her film. I noticed that throughout the movie, Monica did not interact sexually/emotionally with ANY OTHER man except Q. She lost her virginity to him and there was no indication in the movie that she ever dealt with anyone else in college or in Spain when she played overseas. I thought this was a powerful message! This is a woman who not only FOUGHT for the man she loved, but also remained devoted and true to her heart. LOVE AND LOYALTY DAWG!! This is what Black Love is missing nowadays. Also, as a woman not playing into her traditonal gender role, Monica portrayed her vulnerability as a woman so well at the end of the movie, professing her love for a man that is about to get married and putting her shit on the line. Monica is portrayed as a truly virtuous (in the relationship/sexual context) woman yet still strong, courageous, and independent.

Another great thing that Prince-Bythewood does is portray the Black family in a way that other writers and directors do not. We see not one but TWO affluent Black families in this movie. They are living in a California suburb in huge houses married and successful. The father figures are active in the children's life, even when Q's family breaks up do to his father's cheating. Q's mother isn't like the Basketball Wives you see on tv; she is domestic, loving, but a bit feisty when she needs to be still. Monica's family seems damn near picture perfect, with a father working a corporate job, supporting his wife and daughters, whom both go on to college. It's nice to see a movie with a predominantly Black cast portraying affluent members in society versus oppressed and dysfunctional (i.e. Boyz N The Hood, Set It Off, Menace to Society).

So why do women love this movie? BECAUSE WE WIN!!! Women are winning in this movie and that doesn't always happen. And I don't mean winning like she got married to a rich man #winning. She not only married her childhood love, she's living her childhood dream out completely!! She is in the WNBA playing basketball professionally married to the love of her life, whom she grew up next to and lost her virginity to. Women are winning in this movie because Monica is a beautiful, college educated professional. Women are winning in this movie because Monica respected her body and stayed true to one man. Women are winning in this movie because she didn't have to choose between love and her career, which is what society tells EVERY WOMAN they must do. Women are winning in this movie because Monica is true to her self.

This is why we looovvveeee Love and Basketball.

PEACE

Riding the Natural Hair Wave~~~~~

I KNOWWWW everyone is noticing this recent trend in the Black community amongst our sisters who are converting to natural hair (woot! woot!). I swear before I got dreaded up and I was rockin the curly 'fro, I couldn't go anywhere without someone asking me what products I used and how long had I been natural because they were about to or had just started embarking on their natural hair journey as well. Now even more people, young women at that, are losing their weaves and relaxers. I'M ALL FOR IT!!!

I'm not one of those people who thinks that women shouldn't wear weaves or get relaxers....per se. I think a female should style her hair in whatever way is most manageable for her and makes her feel most comfortable. That's ultimately why I decided to go natural. I've NEVER liked combing my hair. I've NEVER liked the way relaxers made my hair feel. And I still had to flat iron the shit anyways so I always felt like WTF is the point of torturing my scalp, trying to refrain from scratching, just so I can get it straight,  when I still have to spend 1.5 hours flat ironing it. All the wrapping and retouches and work UH UH NOT ME!! So I switched to a style where I could get my hair wet in the shower, get in the pool carefree (even though I rarely swim lol I BLAME RELAXERS!!), and not worry about wrapping my hair each and every night. I loved my natural hair texture and my hair grew back so much more healthy.

But the real thing I'm pondering about Black women is: Do you REALLY prefer relaxers and weaves or is that what you have been CONDITIONED to prefer??? I mean, starting with the media and entertainment industry, they've always ingrained in our minds that LONG, STRAIGHT HAIR is a symbol of beauty. Not only were the women brainwashed to believe this but the men as well!! Men perpetuate this completely skewed and subjective viewpoint, openly saying (for the most part) that they prefer women with long, straight hair. Of course, most women want to please the man in their life or the man they seek to attract, so they alter their appearance without pause.

This viewpoint has plagued the Black community for decades, creating self hatred amongst our race. We don't like our hair texture or length or color (along with all the other features Black people hate about themselves i.e. MJ and his nose issue). Our natural hair texture was stigmatized as "nappy" and "bad", and women along with men began wearing wigs and getting "conked" up in order to appear socially acceptable and maintain society's standard of beauty. Now, decades and decades later, we still believe that our natural hair texture is not beautiful. We don't think it's good enough; we must add color and extensions and harmful chemicals in order to CREATE this acceptable image of beauty. All these alterations must indicate one thing: we don't like ourselves the way we are NATURALLY. Isn't that a slap in God's face though.....

I hear numerous reasons amongst Black women as to why they FEAR (yes FEAR!!) going natural: Their hair grows too slow, its too nappy, they don't think they will look right with short hair, they need their relaxers blah blah blah. I'm not trying to force the issue BUT those are some WEAK ASS excuses! I think women need to honestly re-evealuate their own insecurities. First, your hair doesn't define you. Second, someone else's standards of beauty, be it the men you're pursuing or society itself, should not affect the way you view and feel about yourself! This is the way GOD MADE YOU. This is the WAY YOU WERE BORN. No make up. No extensions. No relaxers. No acrylics. JUST YOU. Embrace that beauty. Once you do, others will as well.

This is why, although I absolutely DETEST trends, I'm AOK with this wave. I hope it is through this means that Black women come to appreciate their natural beauty; the natural beauty of our thick and kinky hair. We aren't meant to fit in. STAND UP & STAND OUT!!

20 Reasons To Go Natural http://meechymonroe.com/?p=1366

PEACE

Race: Why Black ppl can't get along

I mean Black ppl get along, but we don't know how to unify....if that makes some sense. I mean we will get along when we have to, like when we walk into class/work and its only a handful of Black ppl. We all stick together then. But what about when it comes to supporting Black business, talent, prosperity etc??? Not to mention the rate of Black on Black crime is ridiculous. There seems to be some sort of disconnect.

Well lets start with the breaking of the slave. If you haven't read the Willie Lynch papers, it is something everyone should read, especially Black ppl. It basically is a manual for slave owners, showing how to weaken the mind, body, and spirit of the slave by turning male against female, light against dark, and breaking up the family unit. We're compared to the breaking of a horse. This disunity began the moment we were brought into America. They taught us to distrust one another (field slaves not trusting house slaves); they taught women to be strong by weakening their males- the man was broken and spirit diminished as he was beaten and berated in front of wife and child and the woman was to think he was weak and she did not need him. The psychological effects of this were never addressed, therefore our great great great grandparents passed down ideologies and they continue to trickle down and remain unaddressed for generations to come.

Now inner-city communities: Now I'm thinking inner-city communities that are predominantly Black, but may have traces of our White and Hispanic brothers and sisters. We're talking about communities plagued with robbery, rape, assault, drugs etc. So we're talking about a community of maybe 5000 Blacks who all are dealing with similar hardships ( weak family unit, poverty, drugs, violence etc) and express it through anger and must fight to keep what is theirs. This is the attitude of anyone from an inner-city. If you grow up in a community where vulnerability, fear, and weakness makes you target for robbery, rape, assault or all of the above, you develop a tough exterior, interior, and a high level of distrust for the people around you ( who happen to all look like you!). You also develop a harsh attitude and quick temper. You become weary of the ills that men do, and in this neighborhood, you witness it daily! You don't want to build with these people! They are probably trying to rob you or use you!

I think these are 2 reasons why we as Black people find it difficult to support one another and unify. Many of us come from harsh neighborhoods and households that do not strengthen our unity. Also, the damage done to our ancestors is affecting us greatly and its almost as if society is building off of these weaknesses and is not truly seeking to undo the problems created by this country ( for Blacks) in the 1st place!

I have hope and faith in my race that we will unify. Having a strong family unit is important because ultimately, your household sets the foundation for your thoughts and the person you grow into. It is thought of by other cultures that the African American culture's strength lies in our strong sense of family and extended family, however it seems we have strayed from that strength and bond, reflecting our break in unity as well!

I think it is important we don't let our personal experiences hinder us from growth. Although we may have came from communities that make it difficult for us to love and trust, we must remember that we must judge each person individually, just as we expect people to receive us individually. If you see your brother selling his cd's, give him a chance!! He just talkin about his life, trying to provide for his family and you might just like his music! If you see your sister trying to come up in the fashion or catering game support them! If you don't spend $20 at this Black owned restaurant, you're just going to spend $25 getting some mediocre fast food or at some mediocre chain restaurant. If you don't buy your sister's fashions, you're just going to support Habeeb at the Arab store or Phil or Becky who owns some chain store or boutique with fashions that look just like everyone else's.

Government is not going to uplift our race. Obama is not going to save us. Al Sharpton is not going to save us. Collectively we will save ourselves. Society doesn't care what happens to us! If they did, many problems would have been rectified, not stitched up with duct tape. The ROOT of the problem would be addressed. Handouts don't solve problems. They pacify and breed westernized mentalities that demote hard work, equality, education, and prosperity. We must trust that our brothers and sisters will invest into our race and communities! We must support each other in order to promote unity! We must lead with intent and purpose!

Happy Black History Month lol.