The Lioness' Thirst

Sometimes my ambition can be relentless
I know what I want so by any means I will get it
I'll disregard any obtrusions,
illusions that I have limits
or obstacles that prevent it
from happening.
I'd rather give it my undivided attention
and deepest, genuine work.
My image can seem indifferent
but spirit is on beserk.
I've learnt to make manifest
what I feel is deserved.
I'm preying on what's to come
and ready to get served
my next feast.
I'm so beast
its like The Lioness emerged.

I Black Out.....

All I see is a goal
and all I knows there's a way
so all I do is move toward it.
And move forward.
My soul has so ordered it.
Mind will so warrant it.
All my dreams have been torrented
into my own reality.
Cuz I chase them emphatically.
No awareness of gravity,
constantly soaring up.
Floating on clouds magically.
Rising to new heights
expanding my conscious avidly.
Fears are turning to casualties.
Rapidly I'm evolving and
actually the world's revolving
around me.
After consulting with Gods
who have been gawking on me.
They said I'm shining and finally
the truth is dawning on me.
I am the center, conductor, instructor,
I am the team.
Determine structure and function
and then I live out the dream.
You say assumption and I assume
you're misguided indeed.
My intuition inhibits visions
beyond what you see.
I'm on a mission, this shit was written
Who am I to misread?
Its time my conscious is freed.
And its my option to flee life
but I'm opting to be twice
as brave as the prev life.
No slave to this dream life.
It seems like there's a war in the world.
So used to having to fight.
We're not enjoying our world.
How can you say you love God
then start destroying our world?
When we're tired of being victims
we start exploiting our world.
The honor for your man follows
when you honor yourself.
Stop chasing riches
if you wanna harness some wealth.
Love your body like its Godly,
Don't tarnish your health.
And if you're breaking all alone
go and garner some help.
Perceive it and then see.
Believe it and then preach.
Receive it and then teach.
Complacent with second place and
lets face it I'm not adjacent.
I'm lapping you in this race and
I'm still catching my pace and
steady chasing a meal
like a Lion in heels,
like I ain't just pay my bill
cuz I know that I'm destined for greatness.

Traumatic Histories : Are Blacks due Reparations?

I've always been against reparations. Why? Because I think the last thing Black people (esp of this generation and younger) need are more handouts that are counterproductive to building self sufficiency and a strong work ethic. I thought if compensated, the majority of the ppl would not invest or use the money wisely and would not really understand the implications and possibilities that the reparations provided. However, over the years, I do think this perspective stemmed from misinformation and the 'Welfare Queen' propaganda spewed through the media. I also think my viewpoint came from a place of bitterness and hopelessness rather than a place of objective justice and faith.

Recently, I've read about the history of over 100,000 Asian Americans who were thrown from their homes on the West Coast of the US during WWII following Pearl Harbor and conflict with Japan. They were placed on concentration camps for about 4 years from 1941-1945, secluded and restricted, under 24 hour watch by US military forces. In 1948 under the Evacuation Claims Act internees from the camps received <10% of their total property losses. In 1983, it was concluded that the internment camps were unlawful and stemmed from "race prejudice, war hysteria, and a failure of political leadership". In 1988, Reagan signed the Civil Liberties Act granting $20,000 to each survivor and issuing a public apology.

I also learned recently a little more in depth how Native Americans have been attempting to undo the damage created by the 'great' ancestors and founders of our country. Native Americans who were stripped of their land, culture, lives then stigmatized and displaced are another culture who have been struggling to recover collectively from a traumatic history in the US. Many habits that plague the Native American population currently are a result of the abuse and oppression from European invaders, such as alcoholism, gambling addiction, and domestic abuse. Native Americans are acting to reverse this trauma by reconnecting with their culture and seeking policy to regain land and maintain their way of life. There is even beginning to be a division amongst Native Americans, with those who maintain a distrust for the US government and dont want to assimilate or work with them to rebuild and those who seek to work with the govt and assimilate into the culture. I don't believe Native Americans have ever received an apology.

Another point I want to recognize is the Jewish Holocaust which we are all familiar with. This lasted about 10 years and had over 10 million casualties, with about 6 million being Jewish. The Holocaust ended in 1945 and in 1953 an agreement had been reached and Germany began paying BILLIONS of dollars to Jews in reparations and to this day, many Jews still seek additional reparations.

These are all horrible and otrocious acts without a doubt. I am not trying to make a comparison about which is worse because in my opinion oppression is oppression is wrong. All these acts in history share similarities with slavery too. The racial prejudice, mistreatment of citizens, stigmatization,  horrible treatment of people orchestrated by the government, stripping of culture, deplorable living conditions, unlawful invasions, dehumanization, failure of politcal intervenence, stealing of property,  etc. But what is the major difference? Reparations. Rebuilding. Length of time in which forgiveness is recognized and expressed. Descendants of slavery have never received reparations and the conversation is rarely even discussed in political arenas. Unlike Native Americans, the cultural and literal bond between African Americans and Africa and the cultures that were stripped during the "move" from Africa to America during the slave trade remains invisible and broken. Ha if anything African Americans ( the name yall like) want to be as least African as possible. Lastly, the US didnt officially issue an apology for slavery until 2009 (not unanimously fyi). 200 years later! Jews and Asian Americans (and mankind frankly) received compensation AND apologies in faster time.

Honestly, all of these victims deserve compensation and justice for the crimes committed against them. For property stolen. Years of Life stolen. And identity stolen. What I noticed is that the Jews and Asian Americans had to fight for what they were due. These same perpetuators and enforcers of oppression were not going to just say "Okay lets pay you back for all the fucked up shit we knowingly did to you". No. They had to collectively organize and put pressure on the oppressors/ big wigs to put their money where their bullshit legislation was and apologize and pay up! And thats exactly what they did.

Middle Passage slave voyage
 

Slaves and descendants of slaves, (not just the small portion in the US but the 10-12 million who were in the islands and South America and Britain and Portugal etc)  have never collectively sought to demand whats due to them for the 200 years of unpaid labor, dehumanization, death, and destructive results of the transatlantic slave trade. As an American, it is especially frustrating because we are in the wealthiest most advanced country in the world. We are the envy. The ones to be feared. The land of opportunity, yet the small amount of Africans affected (< 1 mil) do not receive compensation or even an apology until hundreds of years later and we don't even demand it as "African Americans". Now so many generations removed, we try to denounce slavery and its consequences as having an effect on the modern state of Blacks in America. You know Blacks being incarcerated at heavily disproportionate rates and disproportionately representing those individuals in poverty in America and high school dropout rate and HIV rate and college graduate percentage and single parent households etc. As a people, if we can't even come together on that collective goal, its no wonder Africans and African Americans are continually exploited and oppressed.

We're also divided on reconnecting with our lost and forgotten culture. I understand both points of view honestly; those who want to reclaim a stolen African culture and those who want to maintain the only American culture they know. But personally, I can not willingly and excitedly adopt a culture which in its creation denounced someone who looked like me as inhuman and unworthy of righteous living and respect. Idk just common sense wise....factually...REALISTICALLY... This culture was forced upon my people, used to degrade me, and placed ppl of African descent at a subservient status. Frankly, I still feel that American culture implies this attitude today ( for the norms of American culture do not reflect African American values, beauty standards, habits etc in fact they're stigmatized i.e "nappy" hair, curvy figures, expressive emotion,  communalism, etc.). This alllll needs to be taken into consideration before I say I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN! Sike nigga

I wonder though, why isn't anyone else outraged and in support of justice for the descendants of slaves? Why wait so long to issue an apology? Why isn't this ever discussed? Why wasn't it rectified years ago? I find it just interesting that most people can agree all these incidents are tragic and Jews and Asians deserve restitution and Native Americans deserve to maintain their land and culture but when it comes to slavery, Blacks need to stop complaining and get over it. WTF?!??!

Worst of all is that Black people have this get over it attitude as well. Oh how easy it is to keep a race/ population oppressed who doesnt  even realize it. People get away with murder because you let them, and Blacks in America have let the country LITERALLY get away with murder. Now generations later we see cycles of poverty and illiteracy etc. We have accepted maltreatment and a subservient state in the country and the country thanks us for our hospitality.

Pro Choice but Anti Abortion.....Yeah

This is my 1st feminist dilemma. Lol it seems the older I get the more contradictory I appear but if you let me tell it, I'm just learning to accept the Universe and all her paradoxical ways. Yes I guess being pro-choice and anti-abortion does seem quite impossible or confusing but almost everything about me is confusing to outsiders and onlookers.

From a sociopolitical stance and a social work stance and I suppose a human rights stance, I would classify myself as pro-choice. I believe every individual has the right to make their own choices, including in regards to their body. I do not agree with imposing your will onto someone, but rather empowering the individual to make healthy choices for themselves. I would never condone or support something that strips a woman ( or any other person) of their right to make a choice. I understand the circumstances that lead many women to having abortions and I sympathize with the women's struggle.

However, from a personal and spiritual viewpoint, I am against the operation and act itself. I do believe the emotional, physical, and psychological scars that form after an abortion has been performed are far more damaging than any obstacles one would face if they carry out an unwanted or unexpected pregnancy. I realize I stated this is a spiritual perspective but understand THIS IS NOT A RELIGIOUS POINT OF VIEW!! My pov stems from my spiritual values of love, faith, and forgiveness. I do believe that:

1) God doesn't place a load with you that you can't bear
2) "Shit don't just happen, shit happens for a reason"-- Jadakiss
3) We must learn to accept personal responsibility

Also, I believe in the resiliency of the human race and the strength of women ( not just BLACK women).

I understand that present circumstances aren't always ideal when an unplanned pregnancy occurs, whether it be financial strain, rape, dysfunctional parental relationship, or just unpreparedness, yet in life almost everything occurs at the wrong time. I've witnessed many of my friends carry out an unplanned pregnancy and I watched how they evolved and matured as women, becoming beautiful mothers and inspirational women.

Following my spiritual beliefs, having faith that the universe conspired to bless me with a life to cultivate, having faith that the universe will support me in motherhood, having faith that I can be a good mother, I encourage others to discover and harness the same faith in any difficult decision. Many times people make decisions from a place of fear, fearing that the outcome of something so grand, unplanned, and socially unacceptable could have favorable results, when in actuality, NO ONE KNOWS what the results will be so the fear is actually IMAGINED.

I was at the bar and my companions were all excited about the law that just passed in NY saying that they were eliminating the age limits for consumers to purchase the 'morning after pill'. I was the only one not too thrilled lol. I thought about my 10 yr old niece who just started her menstrual cycle, looks about 3 years older than what she is now, who will have easy access to this pill if she just so happens to get herself in a situation at an early age. I thought about how she probably wouldn't see the need to reach out to anyone when she could handle the situation herself. I thought she would probably bear the secret forever, and let it fester. The thought frightens me.

Idk what it is with America and the world that we just love killing and eliminating our obstacles and disrupting the flow of nature. Abortion is unnatural and to me that already is a RED FLAG. You are disrupting the natural flow of the universe and simultaneously increasing your chances for sterility all in an effort to extinguish a load you feel you can not bear.

I think making abortion an issue in the midst of a teen pregnancy epidemic is catastrophic. Abortion becomes more and more common while our youth are sexualized at even younger ages and more intensely! Our underdeveloped younger sisters are making adult decisions unaware of the magnitude of the entire decision. We view abortion as a solution to a problem (unwanted, unplanned pregnancy) when our focus should be the promotion of safe sex and preventative measures, which DIRECTLY addresses the epidemic and doesn't provide a quick short term solution with long term consequences unbeknownst to the general public. Kinda one sided eh?

In America (but I guess period since we're Americanizing everyone), our quickest solutions to conflict and obstacles are guns and abortion. That's a hyperbolic statement I realize lol...maybe. But I do believe ppl have the same attitude about the use of guns, which ppl use as a QUICK & EASY SOLUTION to conflict, as abortion which can be a quick and easy solution.

Now I'm not judging anyone who has or who has had an abortion because as a human , I would never want my right to choose stripped away from me and as a being with integrity, I would never judge anyone's choices. However, I want to be that voice of faith and hope for scared parents that says you can do this. Have you considered all your options? Do you know the risks? What are your fears?

I really just want to end by saying I have a friend who was born from rape. I don't think his mother could imagine her life without him. He is such a loving, warm, and contagious spirit. My mom reminds me that I was supposed to be an abortion. I like to think that she's grateful that I was not lol as am I.