Rihanna and Breezy's Relationship Just Aint Right

I was listening to the radio this morning and they were talking about Rihanna and Chris Brown on their remix to "Birthday Cake". I really was feeling a way! Normally, I like to separate the artist from the individual--- like R. Kelly and MJ. They make great music despite their personal issues. I usually don't even pay it any mind. But listening to this Rihanna and Chris Brown issue, I just didn't like the entire situation since she got fu**ed up in the 1st place. First, I just didn't like how 1 minute the world hates Chris Brown, doing all these domestic violence specials then the next minute they're doing album release specials. First he was portrayed as a monster, then as a fricking idol. Media had people never ready to support him again then back to #TeamBreezy.

I really think we shouldn't be acting like Rihanna's behavior is in anyway healthy or should be condoned, supported, or neglected. This is the domestic violence cycle:

So we all seen the pics....Rihanna looked pretty bad. Its very well likely that next time she will look worse, could have some broken bones, then the next time she will be dead. This is what happens in domestic violence instances!!! People want to say, "its not our business", or "she's dumb" or "if thats what she wants to do its her life". This is #1 a blaming the victim mentality and #2 shows no compassion or concern for our women or humankind as a whole. Women involved in abusive relationships many times remain in this vicious cycle. In unorthodox circumstances, the obvious and practical decision (to leave) is not always easy or feasible. In this instance, I can only imagine the other burdens faced by Rihanna as she tries to make sense of the situation while the media paints all sorts of pictures and she faces immense criticism.

Domestic violence cases are kind of like rape cases....the woman can be physically, mentally, and emotionally traumatized, clouding the woman's judgement, decision making abilities, making them vulnerable, lowering feelings of self- worth and esteem etc. I just feel as if Rih should have an ear telling her to be weary of forming any sort of relationship with Chris Brown. Also, what kind of message is that sending to all of her female fans?? That it's ok to reconcile an abusive relationship. Some stats right quick:

• Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
• Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
• Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.
• Women of all ages are at risk for domestic and sexual violence, and those age 20 to 24 are at the greatest risk of experiencing nonfatal intimate partner violence
• Of the total domestic violence homicides, about 75% of the victims were killed as they attempted to leave the relationship or after the relationship had ended. 
• About 4,000 women die each year due to domestic violence. 
• On average, a woman will leave an abusive relationship seven times before she leaves for good.

Domestic violence is another issue that women face at an alarming rate that society would like us to believe "isn't really happening" or "isn't that bad". We've become desensitized just like with rape!!! These instances present enormous emotional and mental barriers for women that may last a lifetime. As a result, many women do not report these instances because they blame themselves, or feel ashamed or scared. These populations of women need support systems and need to know that they will be ok and the behavior of their significant other is not normal or healthy!! Let's not keep brushing everything under the rug just because it isn't happening in your household. It is still affecting you and your daughters and sons and the entire community.

Race: Why Black ppl can't get along

I mean Black ppl get along, but we don't know how to unify....if that makes some sense. I mean we will get along when we have to, like when we walk into class/work and its only a handful of Black ppl. We all stick together then. But what about when it comes to supporting Black business, talent, prosperity etc??? Not to mention the rate of Black on Black crime is ridiculous. There seems to be some sort of disconnect.

Well lets start with the breaking of the slave. If you haven't read the Willie Lynch papers, it is something everyone should read, especially Black ppl. It basically is a manual for slave owners, showing how to weaken the mind, body, and spirit of the slave by turning male against female, light against dark, and breaking up the family unit. We're compared to the breaking of a horse. This disunity began the moment we were brought into America. They taught us to distrust one another (field slaves not trusting house slaves); they taught women to be strong by weakening their males- the man was broken and spirit diminished as he was beaten and berated in front of wife and child and the woman was to think he was weak and she did not need him. The psychological effects of this were never addressed, therefore our great great great grandparents passed down ideologies and they continue to trickle down and remain unaddressed for generations to come.

Now inner-city communities: Now I'm thinking inner-city communities that are predominantly Black, but may have traces of our White and Hispanic brothers and sisters. We're talking about communities plagued with robbery, rape, assault, drugs etc. So we're talking about a community of maybe 5000 Blacks who all are dealing with similar hardships ( weak family unit, poverty, drugs, violence etc) and express it through anger and must fight to keep what is theirs. This is the attitude of anyone from an inner-city. If you grow up in a community where vulnerability, fear, and weakness makes you target for robbery, rape, assault or all of the above, you develop a tough exterior, interior, and a high level of distrust for the people around you ( who happen to all look like you!). You also develop a harsh attitude and quick temper. You become weary of the ills that men do, and in this neighborhood, you witness it daily! You don't want to build with these people! They are probably trying to rob you or use you!

I think these are 2 reasons why we as Black people find it difficult to support one another and unify. Many of us come from harsh neighborhoods and households that do not strengthen our unity. Also, the damage done to our ancestors is affecting us greatly and its almost as if society is building off of these weaknesses and is not truly seeking to undo the problems created by this country ( for Blacks) in the 1st place!

I have hope and faith in my race that we will unify. Having a strong family unit is important because ultimately, your household sets the foundation for your thoughts and the person you grow into. It is thought of by other cultures that the African American culture's strength lies in our strong sense of family and extended family, however it seems we have strayed from that strength and bond, reflecting our break in unity as well!

I think it is important we don't let our personal experiences hinder us from growth. Although we may have came from communities that make it difficult for us to love and trust, we must remember that we must judge each person individually, just as we expect people to receive us individually. If you see your brother selling his cd's, give him a chance!! He just talkin about his life, trying to provide for his family and you might just like his music! If you see your sister trying to come up in the fashion or catering game support them! If you don't spend $20 at this Black owned restaurant, you're just going to spend $25 getting some mediocre fast food or at some mediocre chain restaurant. If you don't buy your sister's fashions, you're just going to support Habeeb at the Arab store or Phil or Becky who owns some chain store or boutique with fashions that look just like everyone else's.

Government is not going to uplift our race. Obama is not going to save us. Al Sharpton is not going to save us. Collectively we will save ourselves. Society doesn't care what happens to us! If they did, many problems would have been rectified, not stitched up with duct tape. The ROOT of the problem would be addressed. Handouts don't solve problems. They pacify and breed westernized mentalities that demote hard work, equality, education, and prosperity. We must trust that our brothers and sisters will invest into our race and communities! We must support each other in order to promote unity! We must lead with intent and purpose!

Happy Black History Month lol.