I decided to finally write this piece after talking about the topic sooo much and just ranting out frustrated feelings. I figured I need to get it all out in a cohesive piece so then maybe my strong feelings about the subject could subside a tad lol. The topic is this anti-marriage stance our generation is flocking towards. Dumbest shit ever.
I'm totally an open minded woman woman of 2013 in many ways, so I understand the anti- marriage/monogamy stance in the world we live in today. People are sexually liberated, goal oriented, and individualistic. Lifetime commitment isn't a MUST anymore and I'm all with that. I'm not wedding crazed and I don't think everyone should settle down because that's whats socially acceptable. I'm not too keen on commitment myself lol. I could care less about divorce statistics, which the bitter says is just cause to never be married. While all these reasons I understand to an extent, except the bitter fearful people who deny the idea of marriage because of the way other people have lived their lives, the anti marriage stance as a whole, looking at the big picture, is dumb as shit, selfish, and socially irresponsible.
The main and really only reason is the kids. I always say for all you anti marriage people, I hope you don't plan on having any kids. No one wants to get married but everyone wants to have unprotected sex. So now we have a bunch of kids in broken homes and single parent families. Is this what we want to perpetuate? Marriage creates the foundation for family which is the foundation of a healthy and stable environment to raise a child in. Of course all 2 parent families aren't perfect and worry free and all 1 parent families aren't failing and dysfunctional; but its a FACT that a child will develop better emotionally, socially, socioeconomically, mentally, physiologically, etc when raised in a 2 parent household.
All I hear are woes about psycho baby mamas and deadbeat baby daddys yet we still want to deny our child the RIGHT to grow up in a stable household by simultaneously perpetuating the ideas of unprotected sex and uncommited sex, and now creating an anti marriage culture. What a self destructive ideaology!!! We're pretty much opening the doors for psycho baby mama and deadbeat dad drama. Were putting our short term pleasure ahead of our child's long term well being. You may not realize it but you are.
Many people themselves grew up with only one parent or watching their parents co-parent, by moving between houses and having visits. As a child, they learn this unstable pattern. Many people resent their absent parent as they grow up yet become that absent parent in the future. Once we cultivate a child, we are responsible for everything that happens to that child thereafter. This is a human life!! We owe that life all of our will power and strength to provide them with the best life possible. The best life possible involves raising your child in a stable 2 parent household, with a masculine and feminine perspective on life, dual incomes to provide financial stability, a structure for emotional support, and a stable and balanced environment.
"Oh well me and my significant other don't get along and its best we're not together so Im doing the right thing" SHUT THE FUCK UP! Take responsibility for your actions. You are not making the best decision for the child, you are making the best decision for yourself. First of all, your unstable crazy relationship affects your child the most. Secondly, that's your mistake that's leading to your child's suffering, whether you see it or not. We live in a sexually irresponsible culture and we have babies as collateral, in insincere relationships, with people we don't know or love, at a young age, and unfortunately the children are left to bear the consequences. Who are we to bring a child into the world when we dont have the means to provide the best life for them? Now Im not saying single parents or young parents should feel ashamed or that they are bad people...not at all. But i am saying that we should place more value and thought into what exactly having a child entails before we participate in actions that lead to having a child, such as unprotected sex. Of course we all struggle with self control and our emotions so if we do partake, we must be prepared to raise a child. And if we have a child, we must be prepared to take the necessary steps to provide that child with the most healthy life possible.
I know we're still young but sometimes I feel like the only 23 year old without a kid lol. We still want our freedom and fun but once you have a kid, you have to realize that everything you say, think, do, will be digested, emulated, and have an affect on that child. That child seeing you with various partners, the child not having a relationship with one parent, the child growing up poor, enduring your resentment, etc will fester in his subconscious and manifest in reality through behavior and patterns. No marriage equals a huge possibility for unstable houses breeding unstable children who turn into Chief Keefs.
#AintNobodyGotTimeForThat
I totally get that shit happens and everyone's situation is different. The relationship with you and your child's mother/father may be completely broken or nonexistent and the option for that union is nonexistent as well. However, you still are obligated to provide that child with the best life possible. Even when you believe in marriage you may still end up in the same situation of having a kid with someone who isnt prepared to be a good parent. Ok thats my mistake now I have to let it go and provide the best life possible for my seed.
Its almost like pick and choose. By opting against marriage, you are opting against providing your children or future children with a healthy, consistent, stable family structure. Most people I believe are anti marriage because they're bitter. They don't think the opposite sex is capable of fidelity or commitment. They were raised by unwed parents so the concept is foreign. Whatever the reason, it becomes selfish once you have or even consider having kids. Once you have unprotected sex with someone you couldnt imagine raising a family with, you've become selfish and irresponsible. We've all done it but we don't all own up to our mistakes or irresponsibilities. We place blame on others.
I really think people don't think about this when they adopt this anti marriage attitude though. They're thinking about their freedom and settled insecurities. Instead I say think about your kids or the kids you plan to have. Think about the life they may lead when you decide marriage is not for you and continually engage in unprotected sex. Think about the confusion the child experiences when they build relationships with various adults with various viewpoints, none if which may be his/her parents'. Thats all I'm saying...
