Its Not What You Know Its Who You Know: Why Business and Emotions DO Mix

This is the corporate/ professional/ entrepreneurial mantra: Its Not What You Know But Who You Know. From my experiences over the past few years, I can agree with this unwritten rule. Networking and building connections with people is so important! Knowing CEOs, donors, promoters, board members, politicians, city officials, managers, entertainers, even bouncers and djs can open doors for you in which others may not even reach. Knowing people, especially people with influence, can be the difference between getting a job, getting a grant, paying for a party, being elected to office, a bill passing, getting a promotion, or just even gaining access to certain information or places. The impressions we leave on people and the people we know and connect with are guaranteed to effect situations and outcomes.

My thing is....if we can accept and recognize this dynamic, how can we in the same breath be so ADAMANT about separating emotions from the business and professional world? Do we not realize that essentially, relationship building is based on our emotions??!!?

People love to say, you're letting your emotions make decisions for you or stop letting your emotions effect you. That's like saying stop letting your hormones effect you. You can't. Its involuntary. What you CAN do is suppress or ignore your emotions but that doesnt mean its not effecting your body, thoughts, and decisions. Whether you recognize the truth or not, it will still remain true. The coldest man has emotions, so even in a business setting, this person may appear cool as a cucumber, but if you rub him or her the wrong way, they are not going to fuck with you.

People say emotions have no place in business so many corporate and professional people attempt to suppress their emotions by not expressing them or for some completely ignoring them, as if they don't exist. But, we all know emotions exist; our bodies involuntarily have SOME sort of response to stimuli, verbal and nonverbal. For example, you meet someone at a networking event with prejudice viewpoints. You may clench your teeth or curse the person out. Both are reactions to the emotion anger. You meet someone who specializes in your field at the park. You either smile or grab them and hug and kiss them. Both are reactions to the emotion joy. Both reactions will garner different responses from the receiver.

So how am I tying this in? Because irregardless of expression, emotions will determine the healthiness of any relationship. If someone is experiencing unwanted emotions when interacting with you, i.e anger, frustration they are not going to want to build with you, do favors for you, promote you, hire you, even refer you. They may be inclined to slander your name if the negative emotions have effected their outlook on you THAT much. The opposite is also true; if someone experiences favorable emotions when interacting with you i.e joy, ease then they will be inclined to work with you further. People don't work with people they don't like.

Its not what you know its who you know.
Emotions have no place in business

Emotions have a place in everything! How would we even know our own likes and dislikes without emotion? One would not feel anything was it not for emotion. We could just all live in bubbles not interacting with anyone or anything, and even still, we could possibly fall prey to emotions such as loneliness or despair. Emotions steer us toward desired outcomes. They are the precursors to thought; the innate animal response to any stimuli which signals to our brain how to voluntarily express this feeling (tears, blushing, yelling, smiling, etc). Emotions are apart of us as human beings; its not an option lol. Denying emotions is denying who you are.

When people hear the word emotions, its associated with hysterical crying or rage. Of course these 2 emotions would be inappropriate and unfavorable in ALMOST EVERY SETTING. But emotions have such a huge range and every emotion can be expressed at different intensities. We can PRETEND that emotions are irrelevant but whether someone expresses them or not, they remain and they effect our decision making. We do not like to experience negative emotions and will avoid the causes of them, including if these causes are people. I am not associating with someone who FRUSTRATES me. PERIOD. Unless they are the only being in the universe with a certain ability lol.
Therefore, "who you know", on at least SOME level, is based on emotional intelligence.

My thoughts on the importance of our beautiful emotions which have been devalued by patriarchy, along with the other functions of spirit and heart....