Fuck Love

I been lost in my own thoughts for too long.
Wandering around, now I'm too gone.
No flashlight or road map
just two strong companions on this journey with me
trying to help me get my soul back.
That is, reason and emotion.
Now my devotion's with the first
but my ocean is the thirst created by the latter.
The river flow that goes when hearts shatter...

I am a confused bit.
Cuz I don't know how to find the amusement
in this delusion of life and love.
Isn't it just an illusion if we fight then hug?
Or is it what's meant to be and
how do I even know what that is??
If I've never had good sex,
how would I know what bad is?

I want it so I try to get it.
I'm waitin cuz the key is patience.
I feel it so I fall up in it.
I'm thinkin so my walls up rigid.
I'm stressin cuz I'm second guessin.
I question til I hear confessions....

This game is not for me.
My brain is faltering
and heart is still aching.
Yearning, and lately
its been learning to be more open,
but not quite enough.
I'm battling my pride but the fight is tough.
But time continues and the truth shows its ugly grin.
Then I realize just where I need to begin: from scratch.
I don't know Jenny from Jill,
shit I really don't know jack.
I'm just gonna wait and see
who waits for me and
I will explore so graciously
'til I find whats great for me.
Its not sooner so I guess love's late for me.
And cuz I'm a lover all I attract is hate to me.
I'm waiting patiently cuz the wait is worth it.
So when you do capture my heart
I'll know you deserved it.

I don't know when this will be or how it will come about.
I don't even know how I will know that you are the one.
But at that time, I'm sure the divine
will let it be known.
And our spirits will intertwine
and become whole.
And our presents will rewind and unfold
into a beautiful future....once told.

I'm sure the universe will freeze for a split second...
It'll seem like my soul escaped my body and hit heaven
and an orgasmic elation that equates with
that same magical sensation will feel present.
And I will know...

I will know that love is also an action, not just an essence.
I will know that love embodies our physical presence.
As long as we stand together, it is but destined.
I will know that this thing that has manifested
is nothing short of real.
I will then be able to touch everything I feel.
I will then, be able to TOUCH everything I FEEL.

Until then, FUCK LOVE lol