A Little Bit of Poetry

RIP Grandad 1/3/09.... I actually wrote this after my Grandad passed in relation to the passing of numerous ppl in a short span of time, but yesterday reminded me of this piece.

Todays present isn't a gift
when ya presence passed.
And the only happiness that lasts
lies in ya pleasant past.
I don't know if you left me in hell to fly above
or if u escaped the flames to find love
But either way I'm here
left to suffer in fear
knowing that the end is surely near
but never close enough.
Cuz you're already gone
and I can't even cope enough
to express how I feel
cuz I haven't said anything but still feel like
I've spoke enough.
To feel that God's being selfish
would be selfish of me.
And to hate that you're in heaven
would be hellish of me.
But I think I'm jealous of thee
cuz I'm livin in a world now where
pain comes like clockwork
so I stay fried like bratwursts.
Losin lives is like losin socks or
losin wives...
Its just one of those things that
becomes normal over time.
Tears shed through hardship
is some hard shit to swallow.
Heart mirrors the dead
cuz whats left is all hollows.
And its sad that our paths
only lead to tomorrows
but that's all you can believe in
when the days after may not follow.
Thats why I'm praying for today
and to overcome last week
cuz that load is big enough
to make me crumble to my feet.
And they say the world is mine
cuz I live humbly and meek.
But I'd trade this world fast
cuz it lacks the love I seek.
And I'd use the shirt off my back
just to wipe ya tears away
Stand bold and ferocious
just to scare ya fears away.
I'll see u shining bright
once all ya fears astray
cuz I swear a little love
could really last for years away.
But with u not here today,
I regret all the fights.
All the sour days we argued
that led to bitter nights.
Its hard to see the good in this
cuz when u left u took my light.
But my faith would never lie
God don't deal in maybes and mights.
So as I pray for strength and courage
and to make it past the pain
I know God has opened his umbrella
to help me shelter out the rain.
And I know your spirit's watchin
cuz I felt u on my brain.
So instead of u, this tragedy is slain
and your loss, becomes a gain.